I thought I’ve grasped what I feel now in the past. It may be naive or silly of me to think such thoughts but if I deny it even more I know I’ll grow crazy. It’s even more conflicting when I have to keep it bottled up inside. Is time really a factor? Are days, months, or even years really matter at this point?
I do the things I do and want the things I want because it’s my way of showing you my deep infatuation. We may want different things and that’s okay. In the long run I want what you want.
Each day is getting shorter, but at the same instance, time is being stretched out into what has seem to be a lifetime. I want to say more things to you face to face but I feel as if my words will scare you away.
You’re everything I want and more. You do the things I seek in a boyfriend, a friend, a lover, and a partner in this world.
I’ve tried comparing you to what is my past but I can’t. I can’t do this because you’re different. You’re special.
I know I tell you how great you are and you should know this without me having to say a single word.
But I don’t think you know how special you really are to me.
I’m scared because I don’t want to give into you and to find you one day not wanting me the way I want you now. It’s scary being vulnerable. But at the same time it’s exciting.
I want to say those three little words that we all as people care too much or too little for. I feel those three little words in every way but I can’t seem to say or think them without getting nervous.
I’m naive. I’m also very young. But I know how I feel and at this very moment as I write this I’m getting scared, nervous, anxious, excited, and frustrated within my own mind.
It has been a very short short time, but you’re the coolest person I know. I look up to you in some ways, and it’s a blessing that I get to stand next to you each time we see each other. It’s a funny feeling that travels up my spine, into my brain, that gently wraps itself around my ears.
I want you. All of you. I want to embrace all of which is you. Flaws and all. Talents and hobbies. That and much more.
Just promise me that things are going to go as we plan.
I don’t need anyone but you and a few others in my life. This takes a lot for me to say but….